I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
