The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robitsâ€
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
