I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
