This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
