We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
