Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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