Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
