i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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