Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?

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(818): View more from California

he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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(309): View more from Illinois

it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.

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(616): View more from Michigan

A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house

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(415): View more from California

I did not marry a roomba.

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