on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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