Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
