If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
