You're completely useless in the revolution.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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