I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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