Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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