remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
