just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
