So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
