woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize