carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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