Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
