Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
