Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
