i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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