Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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