I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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