she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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