Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
