How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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