did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I need moral support for this bender
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
