I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
