U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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