6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
