so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just pee around me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
