I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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