I must be too annoying 4 u.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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