there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
