Duck Duck Cougar?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
