ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
