I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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