Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
