the condom got lost in my hair
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
