? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
