Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
