Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
