did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
