Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The beer is more important than you right now.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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