I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
