ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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