When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize