the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
