It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
