I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
