I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
