Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If I die, sorry about rent.
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