I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
