so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
