Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Congratulations! We have a period
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