I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
