Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
